Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
