umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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