opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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