we're blogging at a bar
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
