bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
