question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
