I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
