if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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