I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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