he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
