ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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