Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
