My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
