Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
