its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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