Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
