i think my tv is drunk
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
