My cat gives me a boner
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
