aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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