dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
there was a trapeze. enough said
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
