porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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