how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize