i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
