I want to have your abortion
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
