He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
where am i from again
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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