id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
