I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
