so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
