kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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