yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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