I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
