Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
