idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
