i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
