He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
