i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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