I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
soo... how was my night?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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