You just made me feel so damn special
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
