Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize