In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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