Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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