If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
