Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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