I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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