oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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