You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
