I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
