walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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