she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My feet surprised me
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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