I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
