His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
