White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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