Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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