you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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