I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I didn't notice because vodka
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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