i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
