I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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