I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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