my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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