wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
