My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Dignity is for republicans.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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