We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
it was like eating out sand paper
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
