you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
