You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
