Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
