When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
