Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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