she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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