no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
