Im at strip club and am horny
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize