he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
