awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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