Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
