I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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