Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize