Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
