is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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