capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
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