Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just had sex bonerless
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
