Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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