i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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