so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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