I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
