you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
