If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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