it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
