Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
