Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
